what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
