she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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