He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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