shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
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