i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
