I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize