Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
