shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
