i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
