Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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