I look better un-naked...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
