i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize