I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
