BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
