when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
