Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
