I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
