Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have aggressive nipples.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
