Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
