Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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