You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
