benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize