I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Did you just see the Batmobile???
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
