even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Little spoons don't ask big questions
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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