as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize