woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
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He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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