dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
