We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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