I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
