it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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