I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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