Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
