I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
