Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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