Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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