i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
