Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
