New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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