Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
