Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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