GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
