I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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