Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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