Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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