its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Rumble strips road head = magical
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
