call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
