well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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