i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
