upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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