Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize