Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize