Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
