my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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