yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize