Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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