This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
