i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
