yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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