i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
